Monday, December 14, 2009

Corganwatch: The Woman's Side

"They are getting to know each other," says the source. "He's a nice guy... She's a great girl. She's really sweet. She's had a tough year. She deserves the best."
"They are getting to know each other," says the source. "He's a nice guy."
COME ON, people. There is only one thing about Billy Corgan that is so obvious that it is a cliche this prestigious organ has felt no need to confront head-on. Only one truism about William Patrick Corgan is so trite in its staggering bald-faced truth that there is no reason to revisit it unless either (a) you are Simon Sweetman (and thus a profoundly unoriginal buffoon), or (2) you have just read a report that says someone told People magazine that Billy Corgan is "a nice guy".

Saying your friend "has had a tough year [and] deserves the best" when breaking the news of your friend getting into a relationship with Billy Corgan is like saying you have just sunk the majority of your label's capital into an album that Axl Rose has assured youwill be completed by mid next year. It is like if all of the publishing industry got together and agreed that print media could be saved by allowing Courtney Love to write a memoir without the burden of editors or ghostwriters. Saying Billy Corgan is "a nice guy" who should be in a relationship with your friend (a great girl) is like saying Art Alexakis will lend you the credibility you so desperately need to move up in the world. It is like throwing Paul Simon a live bat and expecting him to bite its head off before the concert will be allowed to continue.

Billy Corgan is many things, but to examine history (or, if you are lazy, to listen to the Zero EP) and say that Billy Corgan is "a nice guy" w/r/t his relations to women is like examining history (or, if you are lazy, watching Rambo III) and suggesting that American lives will be saved by sending more troops into Afghanistan.

I think that comparison is a new high/low for Corganwatch.

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